It's Easier Than You Think By Rita Cook
Depending on your religion you might decide to forget about tradition and create your own wedding vows for your big day. The sky is really the limit in this case and there is no better way to begin your life together than to take the time to really let one another know how you feel.

Just like destination weddings have gotten quite popular within the last few years so has personalized wedding vows whether proclaimed on the beach, spoken in a church or just shared between the two of you in a romantic and casual setting.

If you do decide that you want to write your own vows meet with the officiant to discuss what you want to do. Certain vows must be kept in the ceremony in order for the wedding to be legal.

Think about what is truly important for you to express during the ceremony whether it be to each other, your family and friends or just your views on marriage overall. As time progresses many couples have begun to take offense to the wording in traditional wedding vows such as the word "obey." If you are offended by this term create a new phrase that reflects who you are as a couple. Perhaps "love, respect and trust" fits into your life plan much better.

When you do personalize your wedding vows think about those things that are really important to you such as the meaning of marriage, why you are planning to spend your life together and how you will make this arrangement work for better or worse. Too many times nowadays couples don’t realize that marriage is supposed to be a lasting bond of togetherness through the good and the bad times.

Another uncomfortable statement in the wedding vow is "until death do us part." Many couples just don’t feel comfortable with that line anymore. How about something traditional, but less morbid like "as long as we both shall live."

No matter how far astray you want your wedding vows to go it might be a good idea to start with the familiar. There is definitely something beautiful about the words in a wedding ceremony and perhaps just adding a few of your own personalized additions throughout the wedding is all that will be needed to add that special touch.

Of course, you want to make sure that you and your fiancé are in agreement when it comes to changing the vows during the wedding. Talk about the things that make your life together unique and different and the plans you have for your future. One really special way to say "I love you" is to remember why you fell in love in the first place. Often during the hassles of the wedding this is easy to forget. Perhaps bringing it all back together in front of your family and friends will make a bond that will never be broken.

Talk about the experiences you have shared together while making memories. These are often very important moments frozen in time and will also help to build your future as you look ahead at what makes your marriage so important to both of you. What do you want for your future? This will be a good start as to what you want to promise each other as you stand before God and man becoming man and wife.
Another fun thing to do might be have you and your fiancé write your vows apart and then come together to read them before you decide exactly what you will read during the ceremony. This will be a good way to discover any hidden feelings and you might be surprised at how identical your feelings really are, this is the mark of a great love.

If you and your fiancé have an eclectic style or personality then by all means let that come out in your personalized vows. In the long run in might make it easier for you to express your real feelings anyway.

Poems can be quite popular for the wedding vows, however let’s face it not everyone is a poet. If you must write a poem and are sure you don’t want to steal from one of the great masters then sit down and decide on a theme. Obviously the theme will have to do with love and your life together, but go deeper and take it a step further.

Try not to use the same tired themes that have been overdone in the past. Think about who you are and your style as well, if you aren’t one for sentimental gushing then perhaps a happy poem about your life together will work much better.

Should you decide to honor your parents at the wedding this can be incorporated by a poem either written by both of you or a tried and true one that has been used for years. In addition to the vows other ways to personalize what you have to say is through your actions. Using a cake top that is identical to the one your parents had is a nice touch as is walking down the aisle to the same song your mother used years ago.

However you choose to make your vows special keep in mind that the wedding is really about you and your spouse and it is the only big day you will ever have like this in your life. This way, the true meaning of love really will shine through by your actions as well as your words.

Back to Gallery